So I am doing this whole stay at home mom thing. I am trying to be more active with my children and spend time with them. There for a while I was starting to feel like they didnt know or respect me. Which is crazy since they are only 3 and 2. Well Charlie hes my oldest, he will be 4 in May and Dj (Darrin Jr) just turned 2 in January. Charlie is my hyper active child. He is always on the go and cant sit still very long. Hes very smart and I am ready to send him to school and see if maybe he will calm down a little. Maybe get him involved in sports and stuff. Hes my little singer and dancer. Dj isnt as active but still keeps me on my toes. Ever had a child look at you from the top of the stairs and say "Look Mommy I can fly."? Yeah, thats Dj. Hes always climbing or getting stuck in places that you have no idea how he got there to begin with. He will be all about the sports and out doors stuff. He carries footballs and tools all over the place. He loves fish. We were at Wal-Mart and some how we always manage to get by the fishing gear and Dj saw the children poles and he looks at his father and says, "My fishy pole Daddy."
Sometimes I feel like I should have waited and that I am not giving the best I can for my children and then other times I remember "Hey you can only do so much."
My ex Jeremy, his wife is completely inspiration to me. I have never met her and probably never will but what I have read from her blog and her MySpace that a friend forwarded to me, shes awesome. Shes everything I want to be but just cant be for some reason. Shes so intelligent and involved in so much. So I am starting to set goals for my self to become more educated. I am tired of feeling like an idiot when I am around others. I dont know. Ive never met her and shes just changed the way I look at things and want to do things. Thats usually what Jeremy was there for lol. So I am looking at things in my life that I need to change and get things together. Scheduling and things of that nature. I just need a little structure in my life. Maybe it will help the kids too. And I can start doing little crafty things with them like my grandma used to do with me.
I mean I can still be all rockstar like and be educated and a good mother. People do it all the time. I just need to cut out a few bad things and I will be good to go. And when I am doing crafts with the kids it could be like helping me do some crafts that I have been wanting to try. Like making jewerly and yarn babies. So I would just have to spend more time home and less time running all over town doing nothing of importance. So I am going to go and get to work on a personal schedule. And then maybe start working one out for the kids.
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